1) I don't give a hoot if there's a new Spiderman reboot that's supposed to be sublime.
2) I don't give a hoot if Miley has a wardrobe malfunction or goes down on a blowup doll in concert.
3) I don't give a hoot if Wentworth Millere is gay as long as he gets to keep acting.
4) I don't give a hoot if Prison Break has to come back without Sarah Trancredi as long as new season brings back T-Bag and Alex Mahone.
5) I don't give a hoot if veggie burgers don't improve my health as long as they're meatlessly yummy.
6) I don't give a hoot if if takes me a year or more to write a book when others are putting out six books or more. I only give a hoot if they enjoy what they do more.
7) I don't give a hoot if the foxy young barrista can't see my Slightly Older Guy inner sex appeal.
8) I don't give a hoot how Nicki Minaj earned the title Superhead.
9) I don't give a hoot what Mel Gibson did or said ten years ago, just what he does and says today.
10) I don't give a hoot if some fool brags about his cars or income. I'll wait until New Year's to tell him, "May the new year bring you everything you so richly deserve."
11) I don't give a hoot if the whole world loves The Walking Dead.
12) I don't give a hoot about never having watched The Sopranos or The Jerry Seinfeld show.
13) I don't give a hoot about Faulkner, who gave me a migraine in high school.
14) I don't give a hoot about artichokes or broccoli or Proust.
15) I don't give a hoot about neck tattoos, barhopping nuns or even Heavy Metal.
Gotta go now. Thanks for listening. Time for a few of the hundreds of things that I still do give a hoot about.
