Are Your Book's Terrific Tatas Undone by Gross Patooties?

For  tatas, you may substitue six-pack abs or long schlazong.  In any case, the point remains:  of the thousands of books that are pitched every year, so many of them look so-o-o-o-o fine--High Concept, compelling characters, terrific action sequences--you'd swear that every one of them could be a Times bestseller, till...

Yep.   Darned right.  You know it's true:  99% of them have perfect teeth and awesome tans, but once you get past all of that, you get the backside view.  Oh, boy.  You now see a humungous BUT:
the book's too long, too short, too ineptly written, too burdended with back story, too slow, too choppy, too this or too that or too anything else that simply can't be gotten around.  You shake your head and say, Oh dear, that But is not for me.

So let's put on our helmets, gird ourselves for war...and resolve to work our Buts off!